Maybe some of you have noticed that I haven’t written any articles recently. I’ll go as far as to you say you’ve probably had trouble sleeping at night just waiting in anticipation for the next FinanceIsFreedom post to come out…
Well, folks, your days of anxious anticipation are over!
We. Are. Back.
Last week, I visited my parents’ house to see my younger sister who was home from college. We were sitting in the living room talking when my sister asked, “Where have the articles been recently?”
Before I had a chance to respond, my mom replied, “He doesn’t have any time now. He’s been busy with Hannah.”
(FYI: Hannah’s my amazingly, wonderful girlfriend right here.)
“Yeah… Mom’s kinda right,” I replied to my sister.
“That’s a good thing though!” said my mom, (with an enthusiasm indicative of a loving mother who’s been waiting a number of years for her son to find a nice girlfriend…).
My mom glanced at me curiously.
“Hey, I have an idea. Maybe you should write an article on investing in relationships this time. Instead of investing money…”
I kind of laughed off her suggestion in the moment. But as I thought more about it on the ride back to my house, I decided that maybe she had offered a good suggestion. To be fair, her advice and suggestions usually are very good… it often just takes me a minute to realize it 🙂
So, why did I decide this was a worthwhile topic?
Because money isn’t the be-all and end-all of life.
When people are on their death beds, two of the most common regrets are:
- I wish I would have spent more time with my loved ones.
- I wish I wouldn’t have worked so much.
When it comes down to what really matters, family and friendships often provide the most enduring value and fulfillment.
A never-ending pursuit of money?? Well, it usually doesn’t…
One thing I am continually struck by is the hollowness of a money-centered life. Yes, a lot of money can make things cushy and luxurious, but does that equate to happiness?
Why do so many wealthy celebrities, athletes, and businesspeople wake up and find that they’re not happy? Isn’t money supposed to fix everything??
One potential contributor to this curious disconnect is that their relationships are oftentimes struggling or non-existent. Money can’t prevent you from feeling alone and depressed. In fact, if you’re working an all-consuming job in an effort to acquire more, it will likely increase those feelings!
It turns out, money isn’t a panacea that magically fixes everything. That’s why there are countless tragic stories of the lives of jackpot lottery winners years down the road after their big wins.
“Mo’ money, mo’ problems,” as the late rapper, Biggie Smalls, would say.
You may be wondering why then I talk about money so much, or why I write blog articles on how to accumulate more of it.
Great question.
The reason I think it’s so important to manage your finances well is because doing so puts you in a better position to maximize success in these other, more important, areas of life. Money is a tool to meet your basic needs, to let you enjoy experiences and relationships, and to give to others to meet their needs.
I’m writing this blog post as a reminder to simply take some time to consider what you are investing in.
I hope it’s a diversified index fund!
…But more importantly your friendships, relationships, and family.
What does that mean?
Let’s talk about what investing is for a second. The common use of the word—in the financial context—means “to expend money with the expectation of achieving a profit.” Investors contribute their money to something because they think it will grow into more.
I want to highlight one key word within that definition: EXPEND.
Investing requires that you put something in! It requires a contribution, an upfront sacrifice, in order to produce a profit.
Investing doesn’t create wealth unless you make a conscious effort. You’re not going to wake up one day and suddenly find that you own $1M of Apple stock if you’ve never bought a single share. However, if you had been buying five to ten thousand dollars’ worth for the past 20 years… well then you probably would.
You have to put something in to get something out.
It’s the same with relationships. You can’t expect to establish fulfilling relationships with others without putting in effort.
It requires “investing”:
- Your time
- Your energy
- Your emotions
- Your love
If you want to get to know your girlfriend you need to spend intentional time with her. If you want to be the best parent you can be, you need to be present. If you want to be a good friend, you need to listen to the hard things your friend is going through.
You can’t use money to buy your way out of doing these things. Gift giving can’t make a relationship—it only accents it. Trying to compensate for a lack of quality time by buying things for a person usually doesn’t satisfy the true relationship need that’s present.
“Enough rambling, get to the takeaway!”
Look, I’m not a relationship expert. I’m not a counselor. I haven’t studied the topic extensively. And I only have 24 years of firsthand life experience. I don’t have everything figured out, and my relationships aren’t perfect. I don’t really have any authority to even be writing about a topic like this.
In fact, I’m writing this as much for myself as you.
All I’m trying to do is to get us to honestly consider our lives for a minute. Are we valuing our relationships by putting in enough time and effort? Or are we letting money consume us at the expense of relationships?
You have a limited amount of time in life. Don’t get to the end of it and have those same common regrets mentioned earlier that plague so many people…
You can’t change the past, but you can start today trying to change your future. Take time to invest in your relationships if you want to truly experience a fulfillment that money can’t buy.